The worrier within me

There is an old song from the 1960's called THE WANDERER by Dion. I've included the link here. I like the beat of the song (12 bar blues-base) and changed the words to fit my trembling faith.

Here's the song as I've rewritten it.

Title: "I'm a Worrier"

Here's the chorus: "I'm a worrier, I'm a worrier, I worry round and round and round."

1st verse: "Well I'm the type of gal who likes security, I like to know God is taking care of me. So when I don't see that everything is going to be alright, I get stressed out, freaked out, and uptight."

Chorus: "Oh...I'm a worrier, I'm a worrier, I worry round and round, and round"

2nd verse: "I forget that he promised to provide for me, that he requests I walk by faith, not by what I can see. I forget he gave a gift that set all things right, I forget he says, he's with me in the darkest night."

Chorus: Oh I'm a worrier, I'm a worrier, I worry round and round and round."

Vengeance at the Insult Cafe

I think about vengeance a lot when I've been wronged. And it doesn't have to be a big wrong. It can be something as little as what happened this morning. The lady behind the counter at the "Order up Here" restaurant - was rude to me. Consistently rude the three times she spoke to me. She rolled her eyes when, I asked for a ceramic cup in addition to a paper cup. She looked at me as if I was trying to steal something when I asked for a half a cup of water in the Ceramic Cup. And later, she asked me, in a tone implying I had committed a crime and she was the dectective, if I "enjoyed my tea" - I guess she thought I wanted the hot water, so I could steal tea. (She must have seen me trying to hide the mixing of this awful freeze dried stuff I have to eat before I can eat my salad).

I'm happy to report I did not physically harm this woman. Which I think shows great maturity.

But, I did want to get her back. And I know I run the risk here of appearing petty, completely immature and a bit psychotic...but I did consider briefly - answering her snotty comment of 'Did you enjoy your tea?" with a complete lie, such as "I have cancer, and this is medicine I have to take before I die tomorrow." However, bold faced lies just never work out right - and anyway, she would probably think I didn't look like I have cancer, and if I told her I had cancer, then I'd have to eventually quit coming to this restaurant...and they have great Internet access here and I need this restaurant. So, I told her a little lie - although - as a Christian, I know that's an oxymoron: "little Lie".

I told her it wasn't tea, it was medicine, which is a partial truth...because I'd never drink the stuff it it wasn't for my health. But, it wasn't 'I'm gonna die tomorrow if I don't drink this medicine'. I just wanted her to know she was wrong in thinking I was trying to steal tea. She didn't believe me anyway, she just shook her head and said, "Oh. Uh huh." And her non verbals communicated, "you think I'm going to buy that line? You lying thief!"

So, I wanted to get her back. I became obsessed with getting her back. Even now, several minutes after stewing my brains out about vengeance, I'm still struggling with the desire to hit her with the pain I felt when she hit me with false accusations.

I know Deuteronomy 32:35 says, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord."

But, as that verse came to mind, I said back to God..."You've got to be kidding. It's MINE. Or I'd like it to be mine. I'm the one offended here - I'll handle it - I mean I could give her a lecture on the lessons of Customer Service, except I'd probably get thrown out of this restaurant." Then I argued with God for several minutes about things I could do now. How I could let her know she was rude, and I'm a good customer. And I could let her know - blah, blah, blah.

Then I prayed. God you say that Vengeance is yours and when I told you, it's me she offended and not you, that's not true. You said, anyone who offends one of your own is offending you. Help me leave it all with you.

And he did. And Thank God he did. I really need the Internet in that little restaurant.